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After I moved up to the Silicon Valley, I discovered something I had not realized before. Living alone in a shack in someone's
backyard while trying to start a business that you will run alone and not knowing anyone but your sister and brother-in-law who
are happily settled in their life of staying in does not, in fact, allow you to meet potential suitors. No, in fact, it was quite
lonely. If it wasn't for my sister's willingness to take me in whenever I called in the middle of the night upset and alone and bored
out of my mind, I would have hated it here. Actually, let's be honest. I did hate it here for a good two years.
Every so often I would become just bored and self-pitying enough to sign up for an online dating service. I figured I could
see what happens, and there was no obligation to actually have to find some self-confidence and sexy-but-not-too-slutty clothes
and go on any dates. Unless, of course, Brad Pitt happened to ask me out. And, as it turned out, there was no Brad Pitt.
I did actually manage to go on some dates once I told myself "it's practice. Go on a date, practice being outgoing, practice flirting,
practice telling the person you aren't interested or practice hearing that they aren't interested and practice pretending not
to be bothered when hearing this news." (The positive outlook was pretty much non-existent then.)
My business did well. I moved into a very nice place I could not afford. I still, shockingly, was very lonely and bored, despite
the fact that I was so much closer to my beloved Outback Steakhouse. I signed up for Match.com, but before I did, I decided to get a
dog. The exact thought was something along the lines of "Screw this. I'll get a dog who will love me and keep me company and get me
to go exercise and I won't need a man. And I'll have her for years and years!". The interpretation of these thoughts should be as follows:
"If I get a dog, maybe I'll meet a cute dog guy at the dog park or while walking the dog and we'll fall madly in love and have the
dog in all of our Christmas pictures for ever and ever". I put down a deposit for a black female lab,
but made sure to reserve her far in advance so I could save enough money for her.
Back to Match.com. Went on a date or two - one which brought me to a firing range - very cool for a first date. My idea, too. But
no one who really seemed to be IT. Then one day, I received an email.
Apparently I didn't save that first email, but it basically said, "Hi, we don't have much in common, but I just had to write and say
your profile was funny".
Well, the best thing ever is if someone thinks I'm funny - it's almost as good as someone thinking I'm beautiful, or intelligent,
or talented, or have great fingernails... so I decided to check him out. This is the photo he had on his site:
I immediately wrote back and said "What are you doing here? You're tall and my age and handsome. Don't you know you don't belong??" (This
was during a Match.com drought.) His profile mentioned all kinds of sci-fi stuff, so just to be cool (um...or uncool) I thought I'd
throw in a comment about World of Warcraft (if you haven't heard of it, it's an online computer game that my sis and brother-in-law play).
He also mentioned on his profile that he didn't like sarcasm, so I said we were pretty much never going to get anywhere, as I live and
breathe sarcasm. I mentioned I had a bad knee, I think in response to his bike riding and jujitsu activities.
Here is his response:
I've revised my stance on sarcasm. Your email just plain cracks me up. As for "thrills" as a turnoff, I actually
have no idea what I meant when
I selected that. Maybe it did have something to do with a girl wanting to go base jumping and then forgetting to tell me that my parachute
won't open. The fact that I can write again is a true miracle after that "accident."
I wasn't going to admit to playing WoW too as I figured that would pretty much kill my chances on Match. What a relief that you are
"understanding." Maybe I can hang out with your sister and her husband? ;) Rest assured, I have a firm grasp on the real world but I am a
bit disappointed that dragons aren't real.
However, the biggest roadblock is the bum knee. What am I going to do when I introduce you to friends and then have to whisper to them
"she's a gimp; bum knee"? Not sure I can accept the social shame. My friends will probably revoke my membership card to their clique.
Then he gave me his phone number.
I wrote back:
I'm so bad at chit chatting on the phone. I'm better in person cause I can make stupid faces to distract you from the fact that I'm stumbling
over my words (which I do constantly.) And I'm unreasonably shy. I'm good when I'm in a situation where I need to be charming or customer
servicey or (heaven forbid) pleasant, but it's a lot of work for me to actually do the calling. (I know. I have issues. But reasonably mild
ones. Like asides in emails. I can't put in enough asides.) So you give me a call.
To sum up, we met up the next day (June 12) at a coffee shop. He thinks I was late, but I was early and waiting for him to give me a call. He'll deny
it, but when he saw me walk up, he frowned as he stood up. I thought, "Well, there goes that. Might as well relax and not give a crap because
he's already not interested." So I just chatted away without caring about trying to make a good impression. He now says he was trying to
hide his happiness. Hm... Either way, it seemed to have worked. Turns out the only reason he signed onto Match was because a friend
(to whom I shall be forever indebted) told him he'd never get laid again because he plays WoW. But as he walked me to my car later
and I said, just because I had fun and it
seemed like the right thing to say, "well, if you want to do this again.." and he cut me off and said, "yeah!" I was actually surprised. I
looked at him for a second to see if he was just going through the routine, but he seemed to mean it.
Our second date was McDonalds. Ah, yes. He introduced me to his life very quickly. Soon I was playing Wow, and soon after that, I moved into
his home (turns out I would have gone broke if I hadn't anyway!). I warned him about my puppy to be, and although he didn't really like
dogs, he went along with it on the condition that he won't pick up any poop. (Which he still tries to avoid as much as possible).
We got Piper in January, and he fell in love with both of us. As long as I let him play WoW, and he lets me watch Disney movies, things
go pretty smoothly around here. He is very good about forcing me to talk about whatever happens to be up my butt that day, and I'm getting
better about learning to share my space and decide things together. I never thought I would meet the man I'd marry online, but it happened.
We joke about going on one of those commercials to talk about it, but I think this will do.
Our wedding is October 12, and I've promised him I will do my best not to drive him away while planning it. (So far I've come close a couple
of times!).
Fingers crossed that you'll never see a Divorce page on this site!
When I was younger, I used to think that love meant when you are parted from your loved one, all would be devastation, aching,
longing, pain and sorrow. Now I think it's more like that feeling of closing your locked car door and having that sneaking suspicion
your keys are sitting on the front seat. Something just feels wrong until you are together again.
Here is how I thought my love life would go: get a job. Work hard. Get to know my colleagues. Get to know one a bit better than
the others. Fall in love. Date for many many years. Get married. Move in together. Get cats. Have kids. Grow old finishing each other's
sentences and liking all the same things.
Here is the actuality of my love life: Have crushes on every boy I've ever known. Have dates with none of them. Start dating after graduating college.
(we're excluding messing around, for mom's sake). Get jobs. Get lots of jobs. Become friends with lots of colleagues. Date one of them. Move in
together. Break up. Move home. Meet no one. Get job working with kids and families. Meet no one. Move to start business. Work alone.
Get bored and lonely enough to sign up for online dating service. Get email from someone who says we have nothing in common but I was funny
on my profile. Manage to get date out of Mr. Negative Nancy. Fall in love. Move in. Get dog. Get married. Have kids? Have nothing in common
but aforementioned dog. Grow old together, fingers crossed.
When I imagined my future husband, which I rarely allowed myself to, he was something short of superhuman - bigger than everyone, so I could
claim to be "petite" for the first time in my life. Very intelligent, but managed to hide it so I didn't feel too stupid in comparison. Very
witty, but not as funny as I was, so I could be the funny one. Likes big boobs, cause, sorry mom, I got that going for me. Athletic, but didn't
have to show off his talents. Sensitive and caring, but not wishy washy mushy gooshy. Fine line, there. Loved me for my art, but wasn't artistic
so I didn't have to deal with the baggage that comes with "artistic" people (myself excluded). Loved my friends and wanted to have parties and
dinners and bbqs all the time.
Who did I fall in love with? A sci fi geek. A computer program manager. Someone who demands that if I'm going to give him "honey-do" lists,
they must be submitted in xhtml. An athlete, but one of jujitsu (I know. What is this?), bicycling (found this out by complaining on first email
about pain in the ass bike riders), and running (see big boobs comment above). Very intelligent, and therefore needs to explain things to me
even when I understand them. Likes big boobs (HOORAY!). Tall, but I'm pretty sure my arms are as big as his (don't tell him I said that).
Doesn't like art, understand it, want to talk about it, or compliment it. Doesn't want to hang with his own friends, let alone mine. His version
of sensitive is to make jokes after he's pissed me off or hurt my feelings. (Blast that it usually works). Considers encouragement to be
lack of criticism. He sings little songs about everything and anything and makes me sing too. And make growly noises, or do whatever
comes into his head that makes me get over my uptightedness (yes it's a word).
When I was younger I thought I would be married with kids by the age of 20. When I grew past 20, I thought I might get married but
found that I couldn't quite let myself say it for certain. I kept a "wedding" file of pictures torn from magazines, but never let myself
look through them and dream. As I reached 30 I found myself feeling pretty good about being the cool single friend in the group - I could
spoil all my friends' kids and then go home to peace and quiet. I thought I was above needing to be married and having a home and having
kids and pets and "settling down" with someone.
Now I have a fiance and a scheduled wedding date. I have a puppy who covers me in kisses (did I mention I used to gag when I saw other people
get kisses from dogs?). I have a home with a huge yard in a quiet neighborhood. I have a garden where I'm actually growing food. I have a
plan for having kids, getting old, having a life with someone.
There's one thing I've learned about love after all these years. And it's just about the only thing I'm confident about. When you make your
plans for how your life and your love and your forever should be, consciously do the exact opposite, and you just might have a chance of
getting your Happily Ever After.
Our Wedding will take place at 5:00 pm on Sunday, October 12, 2008. We plan to have photos taken before the ceremony, starting
at 4:00 pm. We will be married at the Scotts Valley Hilton - both the ceremony and the reception is at the hotel, which
conveniently has rooms for crashing in immediately after the reception! Be sure to mention that you are part of the Blinde/Sulic
(for those of you who don't know, it's "soo-leech") wedding in order to receive a group rate on the rooms.
On Saturday, October 11, 2008, we will have Golfing with the Bride - all guests are welcome even if you, like Zvonimir, would
rather throw a golf club than hit a golf ball. We will email everyone with the evite, so if any guests do not receive the evite
very shortly, please contact Robin or Ray Blinde because we have obviously forgotten all about you and will blame it on a typo.
We may do a tournament or may just play a round of golf. The Bride expects to play horribly as she will have her thoughts elsewhere,
like on her mani/pedi she is ruining, and other important items.
Rehearsal Dinner: We have absolutely no idea. The tenative plan is to have it Friday night, however, this depends on many factors, and,
to be honest, probably won't be worked out until about a week in advance. The only thing decided is that it will be casual - probably
involving pizzas or hot dogs! Watch the site or contact us to find out definites as we get closer.
Family-friendly we are NOT. We went back and forth quite a bit on allowing children to attend. We decided against it because we feel
that as difficult as it may be to leave your lovely children for the night or the weekend, we think mommies and daddies will have a
much better time becoming s**t-faced and letting loose without worrying about the boredom, sleepiness, crankiness, deviousness, and wonderfulness
of thier brood. We love your children, even with poopy diapers. We just will love them from afar on the night of the wedding. As a
warning so no one has their undies in a bunch at the wedding (at least not over this), we have asked our neice and nephew to be a part
of the wedding, so there will be two children there whom I'm sure you are welcome to fawn over if you feel the need.
The meal is buffet style - we chose a pasta and a steak dish, along with other items. Dessert will be individual yummies - consider this
another warning- there will be no cake and therefore no cake cutting and smooshing into faces. Although we might throw desserts instead.
Okay, the tacky part. We are registered at CrateandBarrel.com, Macys.com,
and BridalGuideRegistry.com. If BridalGuideRegistry asks for a password, use: sulic.
It should be set up so you don't need one, though. We will also begin redoing the
entire house and backyard after the honeymoon, so while we aren't able to choose decorating items yet (much discussion needed first), we could
use gift cards to Home Depot or Orchard Supply Hardware, or to Sunrise Nursery. We realize this will not be an inexpensive weekend for you,
and would love just to see your faces and have lots of hugs and laughs.
Oh, and we are honeymooning in Hawaii for 14 days!! We can't wait, although the Bride is having trouble thinking of leaving her puppy for
so long!
We can't wait to see all of you - be prepared for fun and a whole-hearted embracing of our dorky selves!
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